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Already In A Relationship?

I used to like this boy freshman year, and we recently "started talking." Little did I know he was in a full relationship, and now my phone is getting blown up by his girlfriend. She wants to beat me up. What should I do?

- 16 year old female

I completely understand the situation you are in. The best thing to do is to set up a meeting with her. Have coffee. Tell her that all you want to do is talk. That you didn't know he was in a relationship with her. Then apologize. 

This situation is not about you, but about her. She is currently feeling hurt and betrayed that her boyfriend would start talking to another girl behind her back. Put yourself in her shoes. Clearly, you meant no harm. Show her that. Show her that you support her and that you won't talk to her boyfriend anymore out of respect for her feelings. Then tell her that you're here for her in case she needs someone to talk to. After that, walk away.

Remember that, as women, we must support each other. We can't tear each other apart just because of a boy. If she doesn't want your support after you have talked, at least you did your part. There will be someone better out there for you. Someone who will make you feel like you are the right person for them and vice versa. 


About The Author: When Kate Evangelista, author of The Boyfriend Bracket and the Dodge Cove trilogy, was told she had a knack for writing stories, she did the next best thing: entered medical school. After realizing she wasn’t going to be the next Doogie Howser, M.D., Kate wandered into the literature department and never looked back. Today, she is a graduate of De La Salle University―Manila with a bachelor of arts in Literature and a Masters in Creative Writing. Based in the Philippines, she also teaches creative writing for Grade 11 and 12. Kate is represented by Dawn Frederick of Red Sofa Literary.


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A final note: We are strong believers in the power of therapy. We know that this isn't a realistic option for every teenager, since some of you might not have the parental support or extra income necessary to make this happen. But, if possible, please consider therapy. Many of the adults you respect most have benefited from therapy, and it's likely that you will too. There's no shame in getting support. You deserve it.


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