I had a friend for two years, only to find out he was using me for attention and money. How can I know which friends are worth having?
- 16 year old female
I’m so sorry you felt used by one of your former friends. That is both hurtful and disappointing. I feel your closest friend relationships should add love, fun, trust, and security into your life, as you add it to theirs. Friends like this keep your secrets and protect the issues closest to your heart. They show up and show out for you, even before you ask them to. They stand up for you, but they are the first to challenge you or confront you if you’re off about something. This is very important. Honesty and trust in friendship is the foundation for all the other friendship parts to grow and succeed.
With good friends, sometimes they’re going to be short money for coffees or movies. You can front them. But then, other times you might be short. That’s when the best friends step in to help you without question or guilt. It’s give and take without obligation.
How do you attract friends like this? First, be friendly. Be open, kind, and sensitive. Spread positivity and just be your authentic self, and you will attract the people who are meant to be in your life. Your people will find you, and not everyone you hang with has to turn into a close ride-or-die friend. You can have a bunch of people in your hang-out group, but maybe one or two who become your closet friends. They might even become your lifetime friends.
Wishing you the best of luck and success finding the perfect friends for you––and I think they are going to be the lucky ones.
About The Author: Laura Taylor Namey is a Cuban-American Californian who can be found haunting her favorite coffee shops, drooling over leather jackets, and wishing she was in London or Paris. She lives in San Diego with her husband, two superstar children, and her beloved miniature schnauzer/muse.
This former teacher writes young adult novels about quirky teens learning to navigate life and love. Her debut, THE LIBRARY OF LOST THINGS, will be published 10/08/19 from Inkyard Press/HarperCollins.
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A final note: We are strong believers in the power of therapy. We know that this isn't a realistic option for every teenager, since some of you might not have the parental support or extra income necessary to make this happen. But, if possible, please consider therapy. Many of the adults you respect most have benefited from therapy, and it's likely that you will too. There's no shame in getting support. You deserve it.