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Finding Friends

Dear Teenage RuthAnne,

I know you're generally a happy kid--after all, I used to be you. You like your classes and extracurricular activities, you get along with your parents and siblings. You're intrigued and intimidated by the idea of college, but you are usually good at rising to a challenge.

There is one thing that bothers you, though, even though you don't talk about it. 

You worry that you don't have the kind of friends that everyone else has. 

RuthAnne as a teenager

Don't get me wrong, I know that you like your friends--they're good kids. But you don't have a best friend, you haven't since you were 12 and your best friend moved to the United Kingdom. You have kids to hang out with at lunch, but you don't usually have plans on the weekends.

And you worry that there is something wrong with you, that you don't have anyone to call with your secrets, no one single person who gets you as well as you get yourself. You have friends, but they all seem to have better friends than you. You don't want to seem jealous, because that wouldn't be cool, but also because you don't want to reveal that suspicion, that concern that there might be something wrong with you. That you aren't as connected as everyone else seems to be.  

Here's the thing, though, kid. Sometimes we make our lifelong best friends in kindergarten. Sometimes we make them in junior high. Sometimes we make them later. 

Yours are still out there, Teenage RuthAnne. And it's actually not that weird at all. Lots and lots of kids are just like you.

You're going to meet some of your all-time best friends at 18, 19, 22, 27, 30. You're 35 now, and who knows how many new good friends you're going to make down the road. 

And here's another secret: That dream you have of being a published writer? That one is going to come true. And your first published book is going to be about four girls and their deep, complicated, affirming friendship. The sort of friendship you wish you had ... and the sort of friendship you're going to have, sooner than you think.

So just keep doing what you're doing. You're going to have a great life, filled with great people. 

I'd tell you more, but I don't want to spoil the rest.


Grownup RuthAnne

The letter above is part of an ongoing weekly series featuring letters from authors to their teen selves. If you're a published author who'd like to participate in this series, we'd love to have you. Just click here and let us know you're interested.


About The Author: RuthAnne Snow was born and raised in Kaysville, Utah. She was a sorority girl in college and social activities director in law school―which was a lot like being back in the sorority. She loves traveling, watching horror movies, and baking. She lives in Salt Lake City with her husband and dogs. RuthAnne is represented by Maria Vicente of P.S. Literary and WHEN THE TRUTH UNRAVELS is her first novel.


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